Inspiration: Not the Usual This Week

I was going to post my normal pictures and music that inspired me this week but when thinking of inspiration two things stuck in my head and two things only. First was the song from the group piece that I am in. It is "Drumming Song" by Florence + The Machine, and I love it. It is at the top. But what I really wanted to write about was letting go. That was really what my week was about.

I'm a very bold person, and I never let anything try to stop me. In some ways, I think it's my best trait but sometimes it can be my worse. You see, I never can just let go. I'll believe in someone with all of my heart. I'll get attached, but life doesn't always go as planned and when there's problems I never can just let go. I'll keep pushing, keep hoping, keep praying, but sometimes all the action in the world wont help anything.

In January, I gave up. Second semester had just started and my life got turned completely upside down. There were tears, a lot of them, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to get away, so I stopped trying. At everything. School. Writing. Cello. Friends. Relationships. Everything but Dance. I thought that by letting go everything might just fall into place. It didn't.

I now have bad grades, a novel that still isn't finished, very rusty skills at cello, less friends than I've ever had in my entire life, and I'm single. Am I angry at myself? Well, it's complicated.

I learned that when it comes to school, no matter how smart you are, you still have to work. I had always taken my work ethic for granted but now I value it. I also learned that cello isn't like riding a bike, you can't just relearn all your skills in a couple of minutes.

But on the other hand, I found that real friends are the ones that stay with you even when you have given up. Sometimes, after putting so much work into a relationship you have to step back and see if it can stand on its own. And taking a break from writing can occasionally be a good thing. It gives you a chance for a new perspective.

So letting go, not always the best. But do I regret it? Never.

On Change.

Change is an interesting thing.

When I was in elementary school, wide eyed and thinking that I was ready to face the world on my own, I used to imagine what I would be like now. Clear face, perfect grades, popular, cheerleader, tall, skinny, football player boyfriend; it was all so perfect in my head. I wanted to be the "it girl"; the one that everyone would see and say, "I want to be just like her." When I grew up I was going to be a veterinarian from UC Berkeley, and then be a millionaire. Most importantly, I would have a best selling YA book by the time I was eighteen so I wouldn't have to worry about college tuition.

When I was in middle school, my dream changed. I wanted to be part of the hipster/scene crowd, the one that everyone wanted to be, but wouldn't dare say so. I was always trying to figure out how I could be edgy and reach that amount of cool that everyone else was too "afraid" to reach for. I wanted the perfect boyfriend that was a "scene" kid(you know, the ones with the eyeliner and skinny jeans). I wanted to be perfect. I was going to grow up and move down to LA and become an actor and then be a millionaire. Most importantly, I would have a best selling YA novel by the time I was eighteen so I wouldn't have to worry about money.

Now my dream has changed. I don't want to be a part of a crowd, and I would never want to be someone everyone wanted to be. Role models irk me. I have a boyfriend but he's not perfect and either is our relationship. And honestly, I don't want to be a millionaire. I want to be able to live my life. I want to live on the East Coast. My two dream jobs would be a columnist for a magazine with a job as a dance critic on the side or a literary agent before becoming an editor. Yeah, I have a book. I have more than one finished book actually. But I realize that I probably wont have them published by time I'm eighteen, and I'm happy with that. After writing for so long, I've realized that it's not about the fame. For me, writing is about being able to share a piece of yourself with others. It's about inviting them into your world. And if they don't like it? Well, that's life. Isn't it? We aren't going to like every person we meet.

I try to not focus on the change as much as I do on the continuities now. Throughout my life, I've only had a few thing that stayed the same my entire life. Those are my love for writing fiction, my ability at math and my glass mickey mouse cup from 2000. I don't want to do the impossible anymore when I can find the impossible in every day life. Maybe that's just me growing up. Maybe it's my writer-ness talking. Does it really matter? Change is an interesting thing. But what doesn't change is what you can depend on :)

On Deadlines.

So I would rather do this when I wasn't already posting something because I love to space my posts out but I feel like I must put it out there to make it official. I am going to have Doppled in Gray FINISHED by May31 if it is the last thing I do. I realize how crazy this sounds as I write this once I think about all the school things I have to do but I really don't care. I need to finish this darn thing so I can get to editing. In a perfect world I would have the novel done by the end of next month and then edit April and May but I realize that is not very likely. But I will try? Definitely, 1k a day can't kill me.
I think it's important to set deadlines with your writing because it really focuses you. I really do want to publish this novel but I cant do it if I keep putting it off. I also have another project (I've been planning and outlining for over a year)that I want to do this summer. I love the world that I have created but I really feel that it's getting to be time to move on.
How am I going to accomplish my goal? Schedule. I am a very unorganized person but if I want to get this done I wont be anymore.
I go to the library after school and usually just hang out with my friends. I can make that time productive by actually doing my homework AND writing while I'm there instead of playing around. I wont give up I wont back down. And as soon as this fist draft is done I WILL murder my darlings until its perfect :)

To better my writing skills....

For my own personal sanity and others I have decided to start writing again. Granted I still have a lot of school work and I will have a lot of tests coming up so I wont be blogging every day but I will try to blog as much as possible. Here are some of the things I will be doing from now on.
*Book Reviews: Every time I read a new book I will review it. I love reading so this will probably be something that happens a lot.
* Grammar Nazi stuff: I've been learning a LOT about Grampians lately so I thought it would be a good idea to share it with everybody.
*Complaining/gushing about being a writer: I do this a lot already and it is self explanatory.
*Inspiration: This will include photos, songs, quotes and just about anything I find inspiring to my writing or just my daily life. :D

I'll probably have more but that is all I can think about for now.
Until next time :)

The stuff that makes the lightbulb pop up (inspiration??)

Here's my inspiration for the week. Only five things this time:

1: The Words 'Best Friend' Become Redefined by Chiodos

Not sure why I'm in love with this song, I just am. 

2: Beach picture

I like it because you can really tell how mcuh they love each other :D












3: Theme From the Social Network- Hand Covers Bruise

This is so simple and yet so beautiful. I just cant get over it!


4: Picture of writing

This is what I should be doing. But I haven't. All week. And it's killing me!




















5: Echoes by The Rapture

This is the Misfits(my favorite tv show at the moment) theme song. I've heard it so much and yet I still like it. That's got to be a good sign. Right? 

Mid-Write CRISIS

I'm smack dab in the middle of my novel. It's been going great for awhile. I was writing at least 2k words a day. But now, for the last week, it has hurt to write 200 words. I always hit that place in a novel where I just don't want to write it. 

It's not because it's a bad idea, or the writing sucks. I'm just tired of it. And that's when my other ideas all begin to creep up on me. And my blog becomes more and more interesting.

 I haven't written in a week. I'm tired, I feel that I've been overworked even though I haven't been doing anything but watching tv. But, you know what? I'm going to keep writing. Because I believe in my novel and I know that this will pass. It's like a man in a mid-life crisis. I just need a red sports car-like plot thread and then everything will be fine. I'm going to keep going because I believe in my writing. And you should too.

-Sarah Westen

On Detirmination

Determination is one of my favorite things. We are all determined to so something at one time or another. Whether it be to become famous( like Marilyn Monroe always wanted) or to scrape up enough money to buy a car and go to college(like me). Determination is what keeps you on your toes.

Right now all I'm determined to do is finish Doppled in Gray. I'm taking steps with that. Right now is finish the first draft. Then edit. Then rewrite. Edit again. Query. From there it gets hazy. If I get an agent, I'll go for traditional publishing. If I get burnt out(which I will after 200+ queries) I'll self publish. I really just want my baby to be read. It doesn't matter how. After Doppled in Gray will come another book that I wrote, and then another. But I'm always going to be determined to keep going.

Who knows, maybe you You have the same goal as me. Maybe you want get published. You want to see your name on a beautiful cover in the bookstore and be able to smile and say, “That was totally worth it.”

Maybe your goal is smaller, maybe you just want to get through the month, the week, the day. It doesn't matter. Life isn't about the outcome it's about how you got there and what pieces you left behind. Maybe it will be huge like JK Rowling's or Oprah's. Maybe it will be tiny. But stay with whatever it is.

Set a goal, make a bucket list. As long as you are determined just trust yourself. You'll get there.

Love Never Fails

Dear you,

2011 has gotten me to think a lot about love. Yes, I know that it's only halfway through the year but stay with me here. This is important.

Love is something that's important to us all. Love leads to peace, to happiness, to all sorts of things that could potentially help. Love makes the world go round. But love is a folly thing. There are times when people get hurt, when they feel like they are at wits end, when they can no longer stand it any more. But love is what will always make us human. I personally think love is what causes all the other emotions, love makes us smart. It's what makes us real.

Your probably wondering why I'm blogging about something every person already relates to. You have someone you love, whether it be a relative, a partner, a child, friend or just an object. Love makes us all do silly things. And the same happens with your characters.

Characters are like people, they have emotions and one of the biggest ones is love. Love can drive a whole plot, love is what makes characters interesting. But not just love in general. No, I mean how they react to love.

For example, in my novel Doppled in Gray the main character Daze doesn't have any parents. Barely anyone did in the virtual world that she lived in all her life. But they do have people that they call their siblings. They are grouped together at a young age and forced to take care of each other. In the virtual world there isn't hunger or any physical pain necessarily but there is still a lot of emotional turmoil there. Everyone needs someone that they can depend on. With Daze it was Pher. He was the one who took care of her, comforted her when she was scared, made her smile when all she wanted to do was fight. And she did the same for him.

In my opinion novels are all about the characters. How the characters can make something come into being. Make sure that a character has someone or something they love. Whether it be a spaceship, a dog, a person, it doesn't matter. The plot widens because of it. How is the main character going to be able to protect [insert loved thing here] when there is a crazed monster attacking? How is the main character supposed to fall in love when all she/he/it ever knew was how to love a stuffed animal?

Love can make or beak a person. Keep it close. And remember. Whatever happens, love will always be an option.

Love,

Sarah Westen <3

Insp!r@ti0n

This weeks inspiration was really all over the place...

Inception theme: Mind heist

I loved writing to this for fight scenes! So thrilling.


Angel and Demon Pic

I really loves how this picture plays out. Not only did it inspire me for a scene but it kinda reminds me of myself thinking about the book. Be super evil or go easy on them. Your right, evil works. >:)














Romance by Apocalyptica

This song inspired an entire scene. Not only do I love the song but I love all the feeling that the cellos bring to the music. But then, maybe I'm biased. I am a cello player, after all.

This really doesn't have anything to do with the story but I loved the look of it. And the cat is just like WTF?! I suppose the reason that I like it is because it portrays the feeling of being lost. Whether it be withing your personal life or literally being lost in totally new situations we will all feel the confusing feelings one time or another. That's why I think humans are social creatures. We need someone to keep our feet on the ground.


The Last Goodbye by David Cook

I heard this song on the radio while I was driving. The sun was shining, shaded by only the trees and the song really ended up speaking to me. I normally don't like David Cook but this song is awesome.

This picture inspired me for my NaNo novel, SEEN. I'm currently just outlining and thinking up idea for it and when I saw this picture it felt like the hoover dam of my ideas for the novel just let loose. So great.

 I love the embrace here. You can feel how much they need each other.


Hallelujah by Kate Vogele

I love this song, I have since I heard it on Shrek. And I really became attached to this version. Kate Vogele(how she looks) really helped inspired the look for Dia in my novel Dark and Far but I hated just about all of her actual music. It's funny how for the next book that I'm writing I find out her voice is better than I thought.

Yeah, just had to put this in. I'm doing Camp NaNo and I encourage all my other writer peeps to do it to. It helps so much with just getting done with your first daft. NaNo has really helped my typing skills too.

I just love this gun. I know that only one or two of my female characters can actually handle a gun but I want to learn. I have no idea why I want to learn to shoot. I mean, I know that it's super dangerous and hunting isn't really fair to animals but on the other hand, knowing that you could take someone or something down if you were in danger, you would think that it would make you feel more confident. Especially if your a super lanky girl that can't punch, like me.